Control (Kenshaw Ranch Book 4) Read online

  “Oh, um yeah. Sure, that's okay. Take care, Beany.”

  I hang up before responding because if Corey catches me on the phone, he’ll want details. The last thing I need is for Corey to hate me for being a country bumpkin.

  *

  We get married during a private ceremony with twenty witnesses. No one from my friends or family, but it’s for the best.

  When I fly south for a business meeting, I’m only a hundred miles from home and have until tomorrow before I have to meet with my client. I remove my wedding ring and drive home for an impromptu visit. I don’t want backlash for not telling anyone I got married. I’m sure they’ll find out eventually, but I’ve only been married a week.

  I’m excited to surprise Tommy, but I visit my brother first to meet his new lady. Not really new. This is Bo’s longtime crush and it’s kind of pathetic he never told her before he left the south. He left this girl for five years then went and broke his damn back. What possessed him to move back here is beyond me. I didn’t even want to be within a hundred miles of this place. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing my brother, re-meeting his girlfriend and her siblings, but the only place I want to be is Tommy’s room… And not for any other reason other than to catch up with my friend. A friend that I’ve drifted so far apart from it feels like there’s an entire world between us.

  The idea to tell my brother I’m pregnant is fighting a war in my head, but it’s so new I don’t want to announce it until I’m closer to three months.

  Just as I grab my phone to call Tommy and find out where he is, my entire schedule changes and I’m flying out of here in two hours. That’s barely enough time to drive all the way back to my hotel and collect my things, but I do what the job requires or I have no job. I can’t lose this position. Corey’s my boss, but he has a boss, and it’s ultimately up to Douglas Trenton what will get me fired. So I hightail it out of here, not bothering to tell Tommy I was home. I don’t want him getting upset with me for not visiting. Had I known I wouldn’t have the time, I would have gone to see him first.

  *

  My job transports me somewhere new every week, but I don’t mind. I love traveling, but the side effects of pregnancy are starting to slow me down and I’m only going on two months pregnant.

  “You look pasty.” Corey cringes at me across the table.

  “Nausea.” I push my hand to my chest as hiccups rise up my throat and when it escapes, Corey’s expression is as if I’m the most disgusting thing he’s ever seen. “Excuse me.” I cover my mouth before I hiccup again.

  “Leave the table at least,” he scoffs.

  Quickly standing, I move to the kitchen, grabbing the milk in hopes it’ll help with the indigestion.

  “Are you going to be like this the entire pregnancy? A disgusting pig?” His scathing voice comes from behind me and I quickly turn to face him.

  “I…” I look away, so close to snapping at him. “I’ll see my doctor for medicine.”

  I sleep on the couch because my hiccups don’t subside.

  Tired and achy from the night on the sofa, I sit at my desk staring at my monitor, going through Bo’s then Tommy’s social media profiles. There’s picture after picture of baby goats. Tommy’s goofy ass is cradling one like it’s an infant and I can’t help but giggle at the cute goat, and cute smile on his face. He looks so different. Just older, I guess. When I left that place he wasn’t even old enough to drink. My giggles get interrupted when a coffee cup his harshly set on my desk.

  “Good morning,” Corey says.

  My eyes move from the travel mug up to his face. “Thank you.”

  With a smile, he reaches across the desk and rubs his finger over my cheek. “Fat free.”

  I clear my throat and put my eyes on the cup. “Thanks.”

  “You look beautiful today, Af. Pregnancy treats you well,” he says loudly as he leaves my office and I gasp.

  We weren’t making that announcement for a few more months.

  I quietly groan and lift the coffee to my lips. It’s awfully sweet to be fat free. Probably fake sugar. Cringing, I set it on my desk but when I look up, my assistant and Corey’s are both moving toward my desk.

  “You’re pregnant?” Grace whispers in shock.

  I’m too tired to deal with this today. Removing the lid to my coffee, I take a few gulps before looking from Grace to Diamond.

  “I’m expecting.” I nod and take another gulp like this sweet liquid will have the same effect as a stiff drink.

  “Oh. Em. Gee.” Diamond’s mouth hangs open and I laugh, rolling my eyes at her. “It’s Mr. Bower’s, right?”

  “Yes!” I scoff. They know we got married a month ago. “Of course.”

  “That’s why y’all got hitched.” She grins at me and I smile, but only because of the word y’all.

  “Oh, Affton. So…how far?” Grace asks, excitedly sitting across from me.

  Beads of sweat form over my upper lip and my soreness from the couch is starting to subtly ache throughout my entire body. I gulp down more coffee, but the hot beverage doesn’t really abate my sudden sweats.

  “I—” My throat wheezes out the word and I try to clear it. “I.” I try to gasp in a breath but my heart’s racing and it feels like something’s squeezing my throat. “I can’t breathe,” I manage to say while I stand. Fanning my face, I rush to the window but before I can pull it open, everything goes dark.

  ***

  At thirty-three I started questioning every little thing. Meringue coffee caused me to miscarry, and Corey served me that coffee that day fully knowing I’m allergic to eggs. At the time I thought it was an honest mistake. Corey’s attentiveness through our loss made me realize I do actually love him. There was a reason I stayed other than my job. But by the third time I was caking makeup on my face to hide a bruise, I began to wonder if he was trying to kill our child, or possibly even me.

  ***

  “You can’t even do your fucking job right!”

  I flinch when he raises his fist. I lost a client by showing up late to a meeting due to a delayed flight. It was a new client and no one we’ll gain from, but Corey’s pissed.

  “I’m sorry,” I blurt but it doesn’t stop him from slapping me.

  At this point, I’m in over my head. I no longer stay out of worry for losing my job. I stay because he’s threatened my life too many times not to, and I have no reason to doubt he means those deadly threats.

  I no longer cry in front of him, if I do he coddles me, telling me he’s sorry, but in the next breath explains why it’s my fault he hits me.

  “Get up. Get your fat ass up and get out of my sight.”

  Pinching my nose to stop the bleeding, I quickly move to the bedroom, leaving the door open or he’ll come after me. He thinks I hide behind closed doors and tell the world about the way he treats me. I should. God, I know I should. I wish the first time it happened I had. I never thought this would happen to me, and the first time he hit me, I believed he didn’t mean it. He’s conniving and convinced me of a million reasons why I should believe he’d never hit me again. By the second time, I was too shocked and scared and I just wanted it to go away. By the third and fourth time, the abuse came with death threats. For the most part I know how to avoid making him angry. But now I’m realizing this has been him from the start. His sudden physically abusive tendencies had just been hidden for the first five years. The verbal abuse should have been a clue, but I was too fucking stupid to realize what his degrading comments could lead to. Here I am, a battered wife, living in fear for her life, and no one knows. No one can know, and I don’t think they’d believe it anyway. This isn’t me, to take this sort of abuse, but there is no help that will be faster than Corey killing me.

  I am still Affton Hart-Bower, director of public relations for Trenton. I am still the highest paid woman within the company. I am still envied and looked up to. I have a beautiful house, nice cars, and more money than we’ll spend in a lifetime. I have an influential, attract
ive husband that holds so much power over the fashion industry that if I crossed him, I’ll not only lose my entire career I work damn hard for, but I’ll be six feet under before anyone realizes I’m gone.

  He managed to hide trapping me into getting pregnant. He managed to hide poisoning me and killing our child that he wanted. But I think his idea the whole time was to be the good guy when I needed him because I lost my baby, and it worked. I had no interest in falling in love with someone. I loved my job. My job’s my life. But I fell for him. I hadn’t loved him up until that point, and it damn worked. He was my rock and for the next few years I somehow allowed him to remove me even more from my family and friends and from any possibility of help. I don’t know the last time I talked to my brother. He hasn’t called. I can’t recall the last time I’ve heard from Tommy. Last I checked on him online, he had a girlfriend and was happy being the local vet and tattoo artist on the side. Everyone from here knows Corey, and I met all our friends through him. Not a single one of them understands who he really is. I almost reached out to his ex-wife, but when he almost caught me, I quickly erased that idea from my head.

  I’ll figure out a plan, but in the meantime, I watch my back, and my front. I obey like I’m the man’s slave. I will figure a way out of this.

  ***

  I’m almost thirty-five and the only thing I’ve figured out is how to layer makeup to hide every trace of a bruise on any part of my body.

  I’m getting a cast removed from my wrist today. Damn five-inch heels and clumsy fat girl…

  I was twenty-one when I finally decided to care about my future.

  ***

  “Check out the ass on that one,” Saul snickers next to me. “Fuck, that’d be a handful in bed. Too many handfuls.” He laughs and nudges me but I take another drink of my beer, not giving him the time of day.

  Lately all the guys in this group have been raking on my nerves. They’re assholes to the extreme, being led by the unbelievably unstable Cash Fayer.

  “Do you have a nice bone in your body?” I don’t really mean for the words to come out, but I’ve had one too many drinks tonight and I’m seriously done with this crew.

  “The fuck you think you are? Fayer! High and mighty over here thinks he’s better than us!” Saul’s voice echoes throughout the bar.

  I knew I shouldn’t have come out tonight. I groan and roll my eyes. Saul would be the fucker to start something over a comment like that, and I’m not about to give him a reason to take it any further.

  I can’t be around these assholes anymore. The degrading comments. The way they put the fear into everyone around them, trying to keep them under their thumb. Cash is nothing but a grade-A fuckwit who needs control over these uneducated goons to feel better about his tiny dick.

  I chuckle to myself, remembering when Affton called him out on that, then shake my head, nursing my beer. I haven’t heard her voice since she left here. It’s been too long, but she’s not answering any of my calls. The most I get is a text or e-mail every now and then, but even those are becoming few and far between.

  “Little Tommy Barns thinks he’s better than us, huh?” Cash says. I don’t have to turn around to know he’s right behind me. He’s always gotta be close to the threat. “That newly attained degree sitting pretty on your shelf making you think you’re better than us?”

  “Never said that.” I finish off my beer and spin on my stool.

  Cash’s eyes are crazy. He hates that I went to college. He hates that I got a degree. He’s intimidated by anyone and anything that’s smarter than him…but that’s not my problem. I have to do something with my life, so joining my dad’s business seemed right. Someone’s going to have to take it on when he retires. And since it’s just the two of us, I’m the only option.

  I glance around the bar, the dim lighting and smoke filled room makes me cringe. This is what I’ve turned into? All those long ass nights studying. All the fucking student loans I had to take out…and this is what I’m spending my night doing? All this time I’ve put up with the dirt and shit of this place because Cash was there to help take the edge off with partying, booze, and drugs. Affton left me and with no one understanding just how low that made me, it was either get in with Cash or be alone. I chose Cash, because as hot headed as he is, his crazy didn’t really start showing until recently. A month after Affton left I got my first motorcycle. Cash gave it to me as a welcoming gift to his merry band of misfits. I spent months fixing it up to the beauty that it is now and surprisingly Cash helped me along the way. If you’re in with him, following his every command, he actually treats you well. I think he knew what Affton leaving did to me and the one small ‘good’ bone in his body was trying to make itself useful. At least that’s what I was telling myself. I think over time that bone’s broken and shattered, though, leaving him the crazed man he is today. I know I need to stay away from him, but getting out of this group isn’t as easy as it sounds.

  I ride with Cash a few times a week and the nights I’m not riding I’m at the tattoo shop in town helping out. The owner’s old, and eventually the place is going to close down I’m sure, but I enjoy the craft so I stick around. Cash is happy with it because it means he gets free ink. He’s not supposed to, but no one in this town knows how to tell the guy no.

  “You sure are wearin’ that look right about now.” He knocks my ball cap off my head and I roll my eyes.

  “I ain’t wearin’ any look. Just tired of your boys always talkin’ down to everyone in this town. Especially women.” I shove my hands in my pockets.

  I want nothing more than to fight him, but I don’t. I know where a bar brawl will land me and I don’t have time for that. I’m not eighteen anymore and I’m still smarter than every backwoods hick combined in this room right now.

  “Women need to know their place,” he growls, walking back over to his booth where he’s flanked by girls. “And that place ain’t at the all you can eat buffet.” He says it loud enough for the girls to hear him but they’re so dumb they don’t understand what he’s saying, and then all his goons start whooping and hollering, joining in on the harassment.

  “Fuck this.” I pick up my hat from the floor and drop a twenty on the bar. I start to tell him I’m out for good when the door creaks open and the whole bar falls silent. I glance over where Cash is staring and my stomach plummets.

  What the fuck are they doing here?

  “Cash!” Brandt, the Kenshaw kid, yells across the room. Bo, Affton’s little brother follows him in and I immediately go into protective mode, knowing I need to get him the fuck out of here before he gets his ass beat. “I gotta talk to you,” Brandt blurts, growing a pair of balls and walking deeper into the bar. Does he not know where the fuck he just walked into?

  “Ain't you a little young to be in here?” Cash storms over to the two of them and I try to stay close in case something starts up.

  Honestly though, I’m going to have to take Bo’s side or Affton will kick my ass. Then Cash will kick my ass, but it’ll be worth it if I can keep Bo safe. He’s only a couple years younger than me and the kid’s tall but he looks like he’s twelve and about to piss himself.

  “You fucked with Jo? Twice now?” This Brandt kid must have nerves of steel. No one goes up against Cash, and watching Cash’s face redden right now I can tell even his little brother isn’t going to get away with talking to him like that.

  “Jo...Jo...Jo... That pretty little freaky girl? She was all up on this cock just earlier today. Don't come in here trying to act like a tough big brother.” Cash steps chest to chest with Brandt and I see Bo take a step back, scanning the room. I try to catch his eye to warn him to get the fuck out of here, but he’s too nervous to focus on just one thing.

  “You stabbed her, Cash,” Brandt growls. Aw shit. Cash is always carrying around that fucking knife but I didn’t think he’d ever use it! “You call that her being all up on you? Leave her alone.”

  The room erupts in laughter and my gaze flies bet
ween Cash and Brandt. There’s barely any resemblance between the two of them. They share a mom, but from what I’ve gathered, Brandt got the sweet end of the deal with his dad and Cash was left with the strung out mom and shitty part of town.

  The two of them go at it, back and forth with the threats and small jabs. Finally, Cash sucks his tongue over his front teeth like he does when he's losing his cool, the typical Cash move. I step toward the door to follow Brandt and Bo out, because I can tell they’re about to bolt and I don’t want Cash following them without cover.

  “Fuck outta here,” Cash barks and slaps Brandt’s hat off his head.

  I roll my eyes and lean back against the wall, checking my email to see if Affton’s replied to my latest message while the two of them have a pissing contest over some goth girl.

  Nothing from Affton.

  When Bo and Brandt finally duck out, mumbling at each other under their breath I slip out and follow them. But then Cash follows and all hell breaks loose. He yanks the phone from Kenshaw’s hand, pulling out his knife and shoving it at him while he glares at what’s on the screen.

  “What the fuck. You're fuckin' your step sister.” The look on his face is actually shock. A look Fayer never wears.

  The look on Kenshaw’s face confirms what Cash just accused him of. The kid’s white as a ghost right now. Brandt screams at him and tries grabbing the phone away but Cash blocks him and screams back at me.

  “If he moves, cut him,” Cash tells me then hands over the knife. How the fuck did I get in the middle of this? I’ve been trying to keep out of it!

  Brandt swings first, and I cringe when he barely misses. This isn’t going to be pretty. The two of them go at it, tackling each other to the ground within seconds. The boys around us are screaming, a few start their own side fights because they’re morons, and when Cash gets a few of his guys to get Brandt locked in a nelson I panic. This never ends well. Bo’s being held back by a few of his guys but he’s still standing and looks better than Brandt does right now.